Thursday, February 24, 2011

Realizing that REAL LIFE is fast-approaching

I am currently applying for jobs, which is a stressful process. There are the thoughts of where do I want to live, what do I want to do, where is life going to take me? It is a rollercoaster ride! I've applied for jobs all around North Carolina and Virginia. It is nerve racking waiting for responses, but it will all be worth it in the end.
I thought I'd like the mystery of where I'll end up, but I don't. The not-knowing of where I'll be at this time next year is making me a little anxious. There have been tears involved when trying to explain to my parents that I have not applied for any jobs locally because there aren't any, which wasn't taken well by them because I am the baby.
I am having to grow up and move out into the real world faster than most. I am starting to really feel my age when I face these issues with fear.
I honestly feel like I am mature for my age, but will I be as mature when the rent payment is due, the light bill is due, my car won't start, or I mess up on the job? I have been skipping through life for 19 years without a care in the world, but now, I have cares in the world.
For 19 years, every decision has been mine and I have gotten myself to this point because of those decisions, but now, it is all left up to the employer and not me. The fact that I no longer control my own destiny is the part I hate the most.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Open Mic Night/Debut

This Wednesday, I made my public debut as an artist. It was at an open mic night at Buffalo Wild Wings. I had sang before at events on campus, but with my largest crowd being only about 8. Therefore, with about 40 people in the bar, I was nervous. I began second-guessing my ability as an artist. I am comfortable with my singing, but it was the first time ever playing guitar in front of anyone other than my closest friends. I was also going to debut two original songs, so there was a lot for me to prove that night.
My name got called and I walked up, the nerves slightly went away. Once I started singing the first song, "Sparks Fly" by Taylor Swift, I felt in my element and I was loving it! I received great applause after each song. While singing my original songs, I could see people's feet tapping along to the beat, which made me feel awesome!
I have had so many people tell me that I should try out for American Idol or go to Nashville to pitch my songs, but that's just not in my priority list right now. I want to become a journalist first and just do small local gigs with my music on the side in the process. I would like to pursue my music someday though because it did feel good playing my music in front of an audience. By making my first debut, I had began chasing the dream of becoming a musician. :)

Friday, February 11, 2011

Dreaming of the Independent Lifestyle

Last year, I commuted to Averett every day, which became a hassle. I didn't like commuting because I felt left out of all of the fun things that all of the campus residents got to do. Also, I was tired of having a curfew at home. I felt that I should get on campus to experience the college lifestyle and to finally be an independent person.
My parents had already told me that they weren't going to pay for me to live on campus when I was living at home essentially free. After that, I heard of the RA position and that it paid for the room expense. Therefore, I applied for the position. I had my heart set on moving on campus and by not getting the job, I would have been upset, but I kept a positive attitude. The day came when the letters went out that said if you got the job or not. I opened my letter and I immediately saw a "Congratulations." I couldn't believe it! I got the job! I was going to get on campus!
My parents were not so thrilled. They had then realized that their baby girl was moving out of the house. The day I left, it was sad and I cried that morning when I woke up, but I knew it was part of growing up. Most college students move to go to college and it was time for me to do so as well.
I do not regret moving out. I love the independent lifestyle of washing my own clothes and making my own decisions. I felt like it was the best thing for me at this point in my life because I am about to graduate and move out into the work force and get my own place, and this experience has prepapred me for that. I honestly feel like it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It was something I had to do.
If I wouldn't have gotten the RA position, I wouldn't have been able to move, but everything worked out. Once again, I saw an opportunity, I went for it, and I achieved it. :)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

I chased a dream, didn't succeed, but I tried

My life revolves around chasing my dreams, and today, I chased another one. There was a casting call for a new segment on WXII12 news called "Girl Talk." That would have been my dream job to have my own segment! The judges were looking for someone with a great personality, which I figured I had. I waited in line for over two hours and finally got my chance in front of the judges.
I was bubbly and energetic, I thought it went well, but they sent me on my way.... I didn't make the cut. While it did hurt to get rejected, I know that I at least tried, and I also knew that over 500 people were auditioning. Therefore, I kept my head up and knew that it just wasn't meant to be. I'm sure it didn't work out because God has bigger plans for me. If I wouldn't have tried, I would have regretted it. I'm glad that I tried because I proved to myself that I go after what I want, and I was still able to be myself in an intimidating situation.